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Posted by soph-678689 - Created: 9 years ago
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8 replies (Showing replies: 1 to 8)

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Posted by Ophelia-669484 - 9 years ago

I can see how this must have come as a huge shock, however, before you jump to conclusions, you should take the time to get to know him fully first. Don't forget it was also your daughters decision-she was not forced to marry him. It could be that they married because they genuinely love each other-keep an open mind. Most have said, he has married for papers alone, but without knowing him and his background first, it is unfair to assume this.

Best regards,

Abigail.

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Posted by JMC-684723 - 9 years ago

Hope that things have settled down a bit and you have now met the man. It must've been a terrible shock for you to learn of her marriage so unexpectedly - especially as she was still living at home.

Unfortunately, yes, many immigrant/refugees marry purely for the security of permanent resident papers. I am not, however, saying that this is the case with your daughter.

A marriage with a person from another country, culture and religion brings with a certain amount of difficulty. What would be considered normal in your daily life would perhaps be considered offensive in his. Believe me, I know from first-hand experience! Do some background research on his country and ethics, what is considered Halal (permissible) or Haram (not permissible) as Journo said previously.

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Posted by ferxan-691293 - 9 years ago

hey! in this world everyone suffer from problem small or big....bla bla, this is not this guys fault that he is from that country.there are cases who get married for papper but not all is like that!she is your blood if she had made this choice its mean something missing from her family that she didnt get to know for right time.if nothing is missing then her choice is Ok! When you'd a BF/husband some they like some dont but its your choice to be with him.She is you daughter but not depend on you.if its about papper and cash why you didnt provide her when needed for her.
you cant change this that had happen if you warmly welcome him she would love you and tell more about next will hide nothing this is the kids phycy these day you welcome them doing anything they shearand lead to be a family.if she looses him all blame will come to the parents that they never be happy with her happiness............bla bla
Dont you worry exceptional case happens we cant deny 1st prove her a perfect mum then expect a perfect daughter.days n years has been change so update your self

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Posted by Nikitaconway - 9 years ago

oh my! 18 years old she's a girl i think he is interested in papers otherwise why marry so early, find out how long they knew each other before marrage and how old he isit's just my thought but at 18 she shouldnt be married most 18year olds are interested in going out with friends drinking and normal things i am also young and i said i loved many people and at the time i thought it was true now i realize i didnt even know the meaning of the word now im 20 and live with my boyfriend of 3 years and i learnt the meaning of love but we never speak of mariage as i believe it's to young i dont consider myself an adult until 21 if they are truely in love then whats the rush???
good luck and i hope it's not for the papers

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Posted by journo-666338 - 9 years ago

Tell your daughter you'd like to get to know her new husband, learn how they met, what attracted her to him etc. etc. Why not invite him round for a visit - but make sure you know something about him first so you can entertain him properly and in a respectful way.

Ask her to tell you all about him. For example, is he Christian or Muslim; whereabouts is his family from? Gaza, the West Bank or refugees in Lebanon or elsewhere? Are they currently under siege or do they have reasonable lives?

Does he have residency status here in Cyprus? Do they envisage living here or elsewhere?

Don't automatically assume 'the worst'.

They may make a wonderful couple - but have anticipated your reaction and thought the only way they could be together was to go ahead and get married first, convince you later.

If you invitehim for a meal, remember that if he is a Muslim you shouldn't serve pork, and only serve meat if it is Halal - unless you know he is 'lax' about things like that.

The Palestinians are the most highly educated of refugees anywhere in the world and the longest-standing major refugee group, according to an interview I did with the Director General of UNWRA!

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Posted by northmoorpaul - 9 years ago

A terrible shock for you but he may be a very good man. Tread with care and see what you can do to help develop a relationship once again with your daughter and her man.

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Posted by Devil-662132 - 9 years ago

There is nothing you can do. Above all, do not interfere or say anything negative. If (when?) it comes apart, she will need your help and sympathy. Go with the flow.

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Posted by Stefan.N - 9 years ago

Hi, Sophie... i am sorry to say but many, many young girls who are EU citizens, got into the trap of those guys... it's not usually, but always for the papers. I had colleagues from Pakistan and they were on the internet 99% of their time off,looking for young girls, who still believe in true love and eternal happiness.. this the only way out for them, otherwise they have to pay thousands of euro to colleges, to get the student visa and permit to stay on the island. Some of them even make 4-5k euro savings and pay to EU girls to mary them. I just hope this guy will treat you daughter well!