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Silly season question

Posted by jandave - Created: 3 years ago
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10 replies (Showing replies: 1 to 10)

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Posted by moi-383589 - 3 years ago

Kernowboy you sound like a plonker- never having met you of course. : )

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Posted by RHS35 - 3 years ago

When you put the fairy lights away carefully every new year and they all work and yet a week before xmas you get them out......................untouched for a whole year and the tangled mess looks like the mice have been trying to make Macrame baskets for 51 weeks since you know you put them away neatly and they were all working fine !!!!

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Posted by Rance-384571 - 3 years ago

Many people on AI will quote that they spoke with a Fonctionnaire and therefore they have the correct answer.


Q. Eight fonctionaire's are in the office, a member of the public walks in and  asks them all the same question, how many different answers will the person receive?

A. Nine....

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Posted by Iguana Rock - 3 years ago

New Years Honours list - now that REALLY is silly season.

 

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Posted by Kernowboy-10061199 - 3 years ago

Hilarious, Fitter! Moi, you sound like a bundle of fun.

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Posted by moi-383589 - 3 years ago

Yawwwwwwnnnnnnnnnnnnn-nothing new then-sigh!

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Posted by Gleaner - 3 years ago

Bravo Fitter.

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Posted by Fitter - 3 years ago

Men's Rules.

We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the Rules from the male side. There are our rules:-
Please note.... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!
1. Breasts are for looking at and that is why we do it. Don’t try to change that.
1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You’re a big girl. If its up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don’t hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
1. Saturday = Sports. Its like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
1. Shopping is NOT a sport. and no, we are never going to think of it that way.
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: subtle hints do not work! strong hints do not work! obvious hints do not work! Just say it!
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
1. come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That’s what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.
1. If you think you are fat, you probably are. Don’t ask us.
1. if something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
1. you can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
1. whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colours, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a colour. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what Mauve is.
1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
1. if we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing’, we will act like nothings wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
1. If you ask a question you don’t want an answer to, expect an answer you don’t want to hear.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really.
1. Don’t ask us what we are thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics and Sex, Sport, or Cars.
1. You have enough clothes.
1. You have too many shoes.
1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.
1. Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight, but did you know men really don’t mind that, its like camping.
Pass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh.
Pass this to as many women as you can - to give them an education.

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Posted by Fitter - 3 years ago

"What is the origine of "as daft as a brush"?"

Various complicated theories here:-

http://www.phrases.org.uk/meanings/as-daft-as-a-brush.html

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Posted by Gleaner - 3 years ago

Why is it, that whenever I am trying to unwind a length of hose of electrical extension and get exasperated at it not doing what I want,  that it usually  throws up the plugged end hitting me in the nose or something?