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First Time Grandparent - Separated - Brittany - UK

Posted by The-Singing-Tree - Created: 3 years ago
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3 replies (Showing replies: 11 to 13)

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Posted by Breeze-906262 - 3 years ago

You're here in Brittany and from here it's relatively easy to get bac for visits.  Skype is also very handy. Other than that it depends on personal feelings and circumstances.  You clearly see your role as being part of the daily life of your chidren and grandchildren.  You need to assess whether this is what works best for them as well;  It can be wonderful having mum just around the corner to lend a helping hand and get involved with all that the grandchildren do - but it won't necessarily be better for your grandchidren (and children) who, unless there is a financial need for you to provide childcare, may enjoy your presence more in smaller concentrated chunks.  I know from experience that being involved in the daily care of grandchildren doesn't necesarily make you closer and that grandchildren who see you for a few weeks a year can regard you as really special and look forward to seeing you  At the end of the day what's the right thing for you won't necearily be the right thing for other people - so think carefully. Life has changed a lot when it comes to the care of young children and most now have formal nursery care of some sort, there are after school clubs and the need for help with a growing family isn't always as great as it once was.  Instead of the mundane things you could do every day if you lived close by, on visits you could have some really good quality time with your grand children.  There is also the thought that later on you could invite them for stays with you in France during the hoidays, giving their parents a break and helping out during holidays.

You say your partner does not want to return to the UK, he also is your family so it's something that needs to be worked out in a way that keeps you both happy - perhaps some sort of compromise.  A partner is someone who will be there to love and support you throughout life.  Children and grandchildren are wonderful, but they are only lent to us and they grow and at points in their lives will be busy.  It would be a pity to find yourself going back to England without your partner only to find later on that your grandchidren have grown and, although loving you, visit only occasionally.  

I don't know how many children you have but if more than one you could find (as have I) that they live so far apart that it isn't possible to be a part of the daily lives of each of them.  

Whatever you and your partner decide I wish you well.

 

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Posted by staffordian - 3 years ago

I missed my Grandchildren like mad.It spoiled the first years in Brittany.They came to see us and we spent our holidays over there in order to spend time.My husband would not go back to England to live,so it was my choice to stay here with him.

As they get older it gets easier and now at last I can see the sense of staying here.Its not the same as it was over there when we lived there before.

Mine are now 24 and 20 and believe me they have there own lives to live.

i hope it works out for you ,just try and see as much of them as possible and enjoy the time you have together.

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Posted by vivaofsnape - 3 years ago

Skype and frequent visits