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children and growing up

Posted by apples-426462 - Created: 3 years ago
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10 replies (Showing replies: 1 to 10)

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Posted by tigre-979768 - 3 years ago

No harm done.

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Posted by Mickrest - 3 years ago

I apologisw if I misconstrued, tigre. My first hand experience is wholly as a parent. Parenting is very much a learning process based on personal observation of what works well and what doesn't. As a parent I observed one or two things which, in general, worked well:- for example, praise worked better than criticism, reward worked better than punishment, encouragement worked better than disinterest, involvement in their pastimes, studies, tastes etc.  worked better than lack of involvement and "yes" worked better than "no", particularly in matters of little importance (e.g. fashion).

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Posted by tigre-979768 - 3 years ago

Mickrest, I only asked you this question in my last post because in one of your posts you refer to children that have been constantly repressed by the word 'No' when growing up often go wild as soon as away from home. I thought you might have quoted this because you were/had been a social worker and had first hand knowledge or, and statistics to back this statement up. In fact I feel you have been quite nasty in your reply to me wrongly accusing me. How on earth can my question be a nasty slur on this pofession?

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Posted by apples-426462 - 3 years ago

I am sure she meant no slur , just thought that you were more aware of how to treat a child ,perhaps . but please don't let my discussion get people so heated , I never meant it to become a battle, it was just my personal view everyone .

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Posted by Mickrest - 3 years ago

No, tigre, I'm a retired IT consultant, but my former job has absolutely no bearing upon my views on rearing happy and well balanced youngsters. In fact, what you are implying is quite a nasty slur on social workers which, I'm sure that the vast majority don't deserve. If you want to put up a good case as to why parents shouldn't try more positive methods when bringing up their shildren, then please do so, but don't try to insult me by false piqeon-holing.

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Posted by tigre-979768 - 3 years ago

Mickrest, are you a Social Worker by any chance?

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Posted by Mickrest - 3 years ago

Please read my first post again, apples. I'm talking about the use of the word "No" in relation to dress code, hairstyle, make-up etc. Of course, the word "No" is appropriate when there's been some actual or potential breach of conduct.

However, there are many techniques that a good parent can use that will reduce the frequent  use of the word "No". For example, the technique of distraction which can be used to divert a child's attention from an actual or potential act of undesirable conduct..

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Posted by apples-426462 - 3 years ago

sorry mickrest I absolutely disagree with you . Do you say that no is not ever in your vocab I think not , a no when it is required does not drive a child " wild" ,what  thing to say  tut tut

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Posted by Mickrest - 3 years ago

I don't agree, tigre. I think that saying "No" is sometimes an easy cop out while Influencing youngsters in a positive way is quite hard work. It requires patience, psychology and time and shouldn't be readily dismissed. Also, those that have have been constantly "repressed" by the "No" word during their formative years often go "wild" as soon as they are away from their parents or beyond their parents' control.

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Posted by tigre-979768 - 3 years ago

To say yes to a child often makes life a lot easier for parents, saying no can be hard work.