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alone in france

Posted by marilyn ross-781101 - Created: 14 years ago
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10 replies (Showing replies: 1 to 10)

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Posted by henry morgan-785323 - 11 years ago

Firstly, happy new year to you all on this thread which I stumbled on whilst surfing around anglo info. I'm going to read more thoroughly the entries after I've had my caffeine charge of coffee but thought I'd join in the conversation. I consider it quite a good idea for us all to keep in touch and help one another. My circumstances conspired to drive me away from the uk because of the congestion, the 'americanization of the uk, corrupt politics, congestion, values etc not to mention mad house proces and quality of life. It does seem appealing to isolate oneself and be independent though that I suspect soon wears off as I consider we all need interaction and socialising with people. Being a couple does make it easier I suppose in which case some sort of contact group for social occasions together or even just keeping in touch by e mail really does seem very sensible to me, for mutual help and support if nothing else.

Good luck to you all and keep in touch.

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Posted by Berjou-787529 - 11 years ago

I know what you're saying about some women being twitchy. That's what my mum found so hard. Maybe I am a little naiive because I often have my single friends round for a meal with my hubby present and can honestly say I don't get twitchy. Obviously people can flirt but I don't think there is anything wrong with harmless flirting as long as people know the boundaries.

I just try and remember how lonely I felt when I was single, never being invited out with all my friends who were in a couple so if I have single friends now I always try and include them.

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Posted by roxy c - 11 years ago

What you say makes complete sense, except that many women get really twitchy when a single woman speaks to their husband. It is just easier to have a laugh and a joke with someone who isn't being watched like a hawk by their other half - I am very careful now to be cool at gatherings -it's easier - but sad.

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Posted by Berjou-787529 - 11 years ago

I was a single parent for 6 years and I found that many of my friends who were one of a couple didnt seem to want to spend time with me. I was never invited out on nights when everybody else was part of a couple( in the uk) . It really hurt. My mum had the same experience when my dad died ( very young) she said she didnt feel like she was part of anything. she didnt exist. she wasnt important because she was no longer someones wife. I have always invited my friends new and old to any event I organise. I don't care whether they are single or married.Isn't the important thing meeting people who may become the most solid friend ever. I'm not against single clubs. I think thats great. It is pro active. But, as well as singles clubs can't people just include anyone regardless of their relationship status.

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Posted by roxy c - 11 years ago

Well that sounds ideal, not the Pastis though - it's the right area and I shall have to do a bit of research. Many thanks

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Posted by mirabelle-790376 - 11 years ago

Roxy, I am told there is a mutual language exchange course / get together in Gace where the locals go learn a bit of English and the English go to learn French. I know this because our Immo used to go, plus the electrician who fixed our archaic supply suggested that maybe we could go when we move. (He attends and says that its more of a social gathering............probably involving pastis afterwards!) He says it has helped him immeasureably with learning enough English to talk to his customers.

I'm sure that other towns must have similar groups, searching them out is the key.

Soon to be a 61 'er!!

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Posted by roxy c - 11 years ago

I have been reading this with interest as I am very keen to move to France. In fact the thing that is stopping me doing it tomorrow; is this very issue. I am single and love it, mostly; but I do also like to be sociable occasionally, and moving to France will be a completely different ball game. I wasn't going to post anything, because the 'get over it/get on with it' theory always makes me feel a bit feeble-minded, but sometimes it is easier to get into a new life with a bit of support. A singles club would be great (for any nationalities), I am happy as I am but I would love to meet up with others just to chat or eat or walk the dog. Sometimes I just need to be part of a group (like my art class here in the UK) - it just makes being single a bit less .... well I don't know what; but perhaps someone knows what I mean...

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Posted by mirabelle-790376 - 11 years ago

Being lonely in the UK is pretty desperate, its not just in France. I am lucky, I have a lovely husband and my family are all around me - sometimes a bit of peace would be nice! - however we are moving out to our house in the New Year and for us it will be entirely different. Yes, I have been there -solitary city - just my small kids and me, but you have to pick yourself up and press ahead, get out there in the community and DO things. Thats what I did and in doing so I made lifelong friends, its also our plan for France. Our French neighbours are great and we do have a few Brit chums out there, but the major plan is to join the community and to not remain an island apart.

So folks, get out there with a smile, add a few pleasantries and you are away because there are millions of potential friends out there and after all, you made the move for a better life so grab all it offers. Nobody needs to feel lonely or detached even if they are a Solo!

Soon to be a 61 'er!!

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Posted by skallagrigg - 11 years ago

Well said, Johan. Life is what you make it and one of the most simple pleasures is chatting with a friend and enjoying the beautiful countryside that we have chosen to live in. Friends don't drop from the sky! How about befriending new inhabitants to try to make their lot a bit easier. This happened to me when I first moved here and I am eternally grateful to the family that gave me some initial support here. A favourite saying of theirs is "What goes around comes around" - accept their help and friendship, repay it with your own and share it with others too. There are many lovely people (french and english) locally - start by saying hello - in either language that's not too hard.Blue skies"Save the Earth"It's the only planet with chocolate!

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Posted by Johan-789994 - 11 years ago

To English or anyone else who has their doubts about a meeting of like minded people.......I would not think for one moment that people who wanted to meet others for company & conversation would meet anywhere near a pub especially an English type one that are now popping up in many poor little French villages. Why not meet up & go for a walk in one of the lovely forets or along a beach??? or sit in one anothers garden to form a good discussion??? or take turns in making meals to discuss food,previous holidays & other countries visited or why each came to live in France & how/why they chose the house & village & region in France ??????? Yesterday it was drizzling on & off so another single friend picked me up in his car & we went for a nice drive up all around Bagnoles de l'Orne where I have been many times before but he is fairly new to France. We walked around this very pretty floral place looking at the restuarants as cooking is one of his hobbies....most were booked & full due to the celebrations of le 15 Août so we took a simple Chipolatas in a Baguette & some frites sitting by the Lac to enjoy the view until it started to rain very heavily so we did not stay to watch the Feu Artifice as by then we were soaked thru. So altho the meteo spoiled the plan a little an enjoyable 4 hours were spent seeing & discussing a million & one things for the cost of a little Gasoil & the food 11E for both........this weekend I shall make a dinner for him & a few more single but not solitary friends Saumon on a bed of red & brown rice with Broccoli fleurettes & a nice sauce. This is the kind of thing that can be achieved inexpensively with good company & the world goes round. Life is what & where one makes of their situation & yes English I've been down in the pits with problems here in France especially when I couldnt speak French & Angloinfo did not exist then & there were no other English speaking people anywhere near where I live....so I worked hard on my renovation & taught myself to speak & understand French altho reading the language was never a problem & maybe one day I'll learn to write a lettre correctly...You have never had this problem English so you were already light years ahead of me to find the company with the same intellect as yourself....take a deep breathe & give it a try as I do wish you & anybody else alone to find happiness here & enjoy la belle France.

Mutzig