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Strange for a single woman

Posted by suzyq-188994 - Created: 16 years ago
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8 replies (Showing replies: 11 to 18)

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Posted by rosbeef-188640 - 16 years ago

wots rong wiv the peeple yer meet in bars,sum er me best frends liv in bars !

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Posted by trevor-188120 - 16 years ago

Having lived in the Cote D'Azur region now (work related activities) for the past 2 years I have come to the conclusion its not an entirely 'French cultural' thing.

If anything I would say the reason people tend not to bother trying to do the 'friends' thing is that socialising with non-french people is seen as futile. And the reason I say this is because this is a TOURIST area where 9 million people come and leave every year! 

A lot of people have made friends before, lots of times and got frustrated when those new friends went home the very next week! Thats the problem see, you invest a lot of time and effort in making a new friend only to find them scooting off back to where they travelled from never to be seen or heard of again.

Learning French (recently started taking lessons) obviously helps a lot because once you can communicate this it become easier to make friends, particularly if you can speak in French because its less of a chore to make conversation then too... its a hard graft but that I suppose is just like anything else in life thats worth having...

Just my 2'p's worth.

 

 

 

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Posted by woger - 16 years ago

HI SUZY,GLAD YOU HAD A GOOD TIME THE OTHER NIGHT I WONDERED WHAT YOU WERE DOING SAT IN THE CORNER WITH THAT BLOKE ALL NIGHT. I NEVER INTENDED FOR RIVIERA RENDEZVOUS TO BE AN EMPLOYMENT AGENCY BUT....WHATEVER. I SEE YOU'VE BOOKED FOR THE LUNCH IN BOSSANA IN SEPTEMBER....SEE YOU THERE!X COLIN

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Posted by wisenik - 16 years ago

Susy

Echo what Leslie says, particularly the bit about being patient.  I've been down here not much longer than you.  Society away from the expats is structured differently down here.  The French I've met would much prefer going round your place for a drink or dinner than going to a bar/ nightclub.

I think the more French people you meet, the more likely you will be to expand your circle eventually, but not overnight.  Good on you for getting a job like that.  I've just got a job with a French company and I reckon that'll be a good way to get to know more locals. 

If you want to meet and get to know more French people, why not try some sort of evening class (dancing, sport etc.) or at the weekends join up with a hiking club or some other activity you're interested in that other locals are also likely to be doing. I like dancing salsa and going hiking in the mountains so these are ways I plan to get to know some new people. 

Anyway good luck!

Nick

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Posted by leslie-179832 - 16 years ago

Suszyq,

I empathize with you completely, but maybe what I tell you next may help. I have lived down here for 3 years. I am an American, from NYC. I am used to being very open, sharing, giving and most of all used to making friends everywhere, anytime and in the most unlikliest of places. I too have lived in other countries and have found it very easy to meet and make friendships there.

When I moved to the South of France I became very frustrated and did not understand why the French did not wish to become friends with me. I have since realized that unlike other countries, the French are harder to get to know. They are very close to their families and socialize a lot within there family network. It is not about not likeing you or not wanting to make friends with you, rather this is the way they socialize and unlike Americans, or maybe other cultures, it is not neccessary to have a huge net work of social buddies. In fact it is good in some ways, as once you make the friendship, which takes time and effort, it will be a good one. After 3 years, I am just starting to make French friends, granted my French is considerably better, but how can one expect to build a relationship without the language skills. Also, and most important, I think what has changed is the ypes of people I am around. The French friends I am making are people who have traveled exstensively to other countries, and/or are involved in the hospitality/Hotel industries. They understand what it is like to be a foriegner.

Do not give up hope, and although the comforts of ex-pat friends are needed, keep an open mind and strive for building other friendships too. Just realize patience is the key word!

 

regards,

Leslie

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Posted by Alban-188664 - 16 years ago

Susy,

When I was younger in university, there were all these american students saying they weren't invited anywhere by the french. I invited them, organised parties with both french and american ones............who came ?The french only.......I heard from other french students they had the same experience......

Alban

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Posted by candyboxx - 16 years ago

I'm game for hooking up - I'm not single - more of a musicians "widow" - he's French in London - I'm English in Nice - so lets find some fun !

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Posted by palmerbarbara2001 - 16 years ago

I know what you mean nobody down here wants to get together as they do in england we used to be able to just ring up friends and say i'm comming round put the kettle on or get the drinks out as you say what is wrong with people now a days i am not single but still like to meet people and swop interests and just generaly have a chat my husband works on the boats and we don't do a lot we have just started camping on a weekend and found it fun and different