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It's me again

Posted by Baby Boy - Created: 14 years ago
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7 replies (Showing replies: 1 to 7)

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Posted by Black Cat-192495 - 14 years ago

Radical changes in lifestyle are not easy to handle. Some changes are even impossible for some people, especially if the difference in culture and attitude is really not to your taste. I'm sure we all have changes we just can't adapt to.Personally I adapted well to the Riviera and even understood quite quickly the French mentality, which to some extent I even adopted for myself. My ex-wife was French and even though I'm not very good at languages I became fluent through emersion which was a vital move. It's a lot easier once you've grasped the language. Unlike a lot of people on this forum I actually like the French (on the whole). If I didn't, I'd leave in a flash.I would echo the advice given here. Sit down together and talk about it. Make up your minds whether, together, you have the strength and willingness to overcome the obstacles. If so, then keep that in mind and forge ahead in unison.If not, then start figuring out how to seek out a more suitable lifestyle somewhere else and make the move (back to the States, maybe? Or there are plenty of other places that might suit the both of you more). The strain this seems to be putting on your couple seems too severe to endure.Good Luck!PS: Drink - or any other mind-altering substance - is most certainly not a good solution.

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Posted by tunnbrodsrulle - 14 years ago

Dear Baby Boy, I do not mean to judge because I do not know you, but it is now the third time you mention that you were high or drunk when you wrote the posting. Only a word of advice, many people that end up feeling lost or lonely here start to drink, so please be careful that this is not happening to you. If it is the case try to search for help before it is too late. Do not mean to intrude on your life only a kind word of advice. Do not throw away your life.

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Posted by Baby Boy - 14 years ago

Hey it’s me again but I’m not down or depressed <?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" />

I must have been drunk when I wrote that thread

___________ For Life

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Posted by coolas - 14 years ago

Baby Boy,

There are many people who come here and experience similar difficulties to the ones you describe.

Patience is needed here.  The American attitude is almost the polar opposite to the French -- whilst Americans tend to be open and easy to get to know - the French are not..  This does not make them shallow or empty or anything else, just not free with their feelings.

I work with all French and it took me at least six months of working with them on a daily basis for them to become a little more open - some are just opening up now after more than a year!  So again.. Patience..

I think what helped me adjust here the most was commiting myself fully to being here - the first year was quite difficult, but now, having been here for over two years - I have some fantastic friends and a life that I love..

So my advice, give it time, things will get better and you will make friends.

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Posted by mn-186763 - 14 years ago

I'd say your problem is not the country nor the people. Stop complaining, spend time with your wife, learn french and accept that unfortunately this is not the country to find appropriate jobs. If you can't live with that - rather move back home.

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Posted by Paul_A-184148 - 14 years ago

I came here for more-or-less that same reason as you - my French wife had to come back home after 3 years in the UK.  Even just after 3 years she found the people around here inpolite and quite often stupid too, and she also found that she had much less in common with her friends.  ANd then there's the administration, don't talk about that.  3 years later she's getting used to it and starting to be a real southern French girl again.  We've seen the same sort of thing with other French people we know who've gone to the UK or USA then came back again.  And at the end they all seem to reach the same conclusion, there are good and bad points in both cultures, and after its down to your own personal preferences as to where you decide to live.  There you get service, career advancement, help to start a business, here you get geography, security, climate...

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Posted by Spidey-189686 - 14 years ago

Hi Baby Boy,

What a predicament! It doesn`t sound like fun at all.

It seems that you and your wife have moved back over here because it was really what your wife wanted to do. You don`t like it very much here and by the sounds of it neither does your wife!

It sounds to me that you need to sit down and talk to each other, is this what you really want? Is it what you expected? Is it making you both happy?      From what you have said then it sounds like a NO!

Personally, I think that this is a beautiful part of the world and a great place to live but there are many changes that you have to adapt to such as: It is an expensive place to live, you have to adapt to a different culture, people can seem quite rude, it is difficult to find work (be prepared to do anything), you need to find new friends, Nothing is straight forward (particularly anything official such as sorting out a Carte de sejour etc etc).

You both have to be prepared to adapt to the changes required to settle in here, once you get over these hurdles then you are halfway there. Most importantly you have to support one another!

Good luck

NEVER FAR AWAY

SPIDEY