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Kids: Pros and Cons

Posted by mah-226399 - Created: 10 years ago
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10 replies (Showing replies: 1 to 10)

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Posted by mah-226399 - 10 years ago

Thanks for that orme. Complex issue. Tough decision.

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Posted by orme-197181 - 10 years ago

mah, I know nothing about 'celebrities' or their children (I just don't read or watch anything about such people because it's all so boring), but I imagine that few of them actually look after their children the way most of us do. I mean that most of them would have nannies, cleaners, chauffeurs, gardeners and a hole host of others to help, so don't take any notice of them or their 'mini-mes' as you put it when making a decision (unless you can afford all that of course).

Most parents learn very early on that their children are not 'mini-mes' (although I've never actually heard a parent who wanted a mini self anyway). Children soon let you know when they don't like the same things you do, nor want to do the things you think they would like, and when they don't agree with your politics! That's one of the things which makes parenting so exciting - you get to know another human being, and just when you think you know them through and through, they grow and change and you have to adapt. Fascinating.

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Posted by realcooleo - 10 years ago

I'd say it's relative and the question is rather about the parents (candidates) not the kids. kids are kids with exceptional cases. we were all kids, so, 'experienced' to be a kid. to be parent is a new experience. therefore, I'd consider the question as "Parents: Pros and Cons". person who (thinks that s/he) knows her/himself can judge if s/he can handle it or not. the external factors (financial, health,...) must be taken into account as well. if s/he can't, s/he must discuss it with her/his partner or with 'trusted' others...

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Posted by mah-226399 - 10 years ago

I just wonder if the things we are told are the 'must do s' in life are just there to make sure we are completely enslaved with family obligations and material possessions and study and a career so that we can never have a moment to work out what we actually want to do. I'm getting more cynical about the 'advertising' out there every day. If I see another celebrity with a mini-me I think I'll be sick. As for the Angelina circus.....

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Posted by louiselou - 10 years ago

I think it takes great self assurance to make the decision not to have children - equally as brave as having them maybe. Reaching that point (age) where you have to weigh up the pros and cons of things like stretch marks and the state of world for future generations isn't pleasant - especially to the 'sound track' of that Robert Frost yellow wood poem on replay.

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Posted by SJ-190944 - 10 years ago

mah, it can be exhausting at times (some times are longer than others!), but you do get in a rhythm and you find ways to cut necessary corners in order to not be constantly run ragged. Going back to work saved me! You will not be exhausted all the time, you do get used to it, but Paul_A is right - just when you think it's going to get easier as the children become more autonomous, then they start needing more help with schoolwork or something else! One big thing to get used to is that your evenings will no longer belong to you (at least not until at least 9.30pm).

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Posted by MikeP-180526 - 10 years ago

quote:I don't think you can say that bringing up children is or should be the most important job for everyone.

I would say it is, and should be. For proof look at the UK newspapers and see how there is a total breakdown in law and order and society, how 15 year old 'hoodies' whose parents allow them to roam the streets like feral animals are terrorising neighbourhoods and murdering innocent people.

If all parents did this job properly and treated bringing up their children properly as a life priority, there would be a more decent and caring society.

I'm not saying that producing children is an obligation, that's a choice we all have. I'm saying that if you do have children, then bringing them up properly has to be a priority.

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Posted by mah-226399 - 10 years ago

"it's the most important job you'll ever do"

Maybe that was true for the little old lady, maybe it's even true for you but I don't think you can say that bringing up children is or should be the most important job for everyone.

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Posted by orme-197181 - 10 years ago

I won't deny that having children is tiring (so are lots of other things), but you sort of learn with your children, as they grow. You find ways of doing things which people who only look after children temporarily don't have time to find. You also get to know your children, and they get to know you. This makes things easier than they are for babysitters too. How many children did you take care of in your dummy run, mah, how old were they and how long did you get them for?

Once they get to school age you are not with them constantly, so can take a step back. Homework is a pain in the proverbial and I'm sure was invented by twisted people who wanted to sew the seeds of discord in parent/child relationships and ensure they don't have nice peaceful evenings together!

As for women getting 'het up' over parenthood, there are men who do too. Not quite so openly perhaps, but there are an awful lot of men out there who adore their kids and are amazed at the strength of their love for them too!

A friend had had a bad day with her two small children and said to a very old lady she knew 'this is the hardest job I ever did'. The old lady replied 'that's because it's the most important job you'll ever do'.

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Posted by Paul_A-184148 - 10 years ago

I agree OTH, in fact just as I thought that it was going to get easier and simpler, they started coming back with piles of homework to do :o(

By the way, anyone read Children from 'The Prophet' by Khalil Gibran? You'll find it on the web if you haven't read.